Why Norman Osborn Is Peter Parker's Greatest Love

If this article seems hastily written, my apologies.  I'm perpetually short on time, and on deadline.

I recently read a pair of articles on ComicVine that make arguments for why Mary Jane Watson and Gwen Stacy are each the best romantic interest for Peter Parker (aka Spider-Man).  The MJ article really pissed me off, as I could list off a multitude of reasons why I think she was a lousy match for Peter.  Needless to say, I'm none too pleased at the direction the comics are currently taking with them, as they seem to be angling to put them together post-One More Day travesty.  The Gwen Stacy article, while I have fewer issues with it, still seems a little too mired in the sentimentality of the past.

Still, the comments section of any article is either a source of great humor or angst, and in reading the replies to both articles, I was inspired by one of the commenters to respond with one of the more hilarious takes on this topic.  Namely, why Norman Osborn is Peter Parker's greatest love.

Don't believe me?  Step up to the stage, skeptic! :-P

Norman Osborn, in case any of you don't know, is the Green Goblin, one of Spider-Man's most iconic and long-standing foes.  It's easy to say that he's obsessed with Spider-Man, in much the same way the Joker is obsessed with Batman (and vice versa).  So like MJ and Gwen, he's been in Peter's life for a very long time.  And unlike one of these potential true loves, Norman's come back for the dead for him!

He's the father of Peter's best friend, Harry Osborn, and has on multiple occasions lamented how much better a son Peter would have made for him than the unmotivated, underachieving Harry.  On more than one occasion, Norman has indicated an obsession with making Peter his surrogate son in Harry's stead, an offer which Peter always refuses.  So in that sense at least, you have Peter playing hard to get, and Norman always pursuing him.

Even when he knew Peter's secret identity as Spider-Man (or vice versa), he's never actually spilled the beans to the public, something Peter did himself in the Civil War.  Sure, he may have manipulated, threatened, and driven him crazy, but at least he never killed Aunt May or put her in any kind of terminal condition--which Peter essentially did do. So in a warped sense of irony, he knows Peter better than Peter knows himself, and treats Peter better than Peter often treats himself.

Then there's the storyline Sins Past, where we find out that way, way back in the past, Norman Osborn actually slept with Gwen Stacy and fathered children with her.  Now clearly, Norman had no real feelings for Gwen--he certainly didn't think twice about killing her--and was much more interested in furthering his obsession with creating a worthy heir, but by this point in their history, he had to realize he wasn't going to get anywhere with his other obsession, Peter Parker.  But given Peter's closeness with Gwen, what better way to feel close to the object of your affection (short of killing his girl, which he succeeded at doing) than nailing his love and getting her pregnant with twins?

If he wasn't able to have Peter, he could at least make himself a permanent fixture in his life.

Finally, there's the letter.

You know what I'm talking about.  From the story arc The Last Stand.  Spidey has just defeated the Goblin after being put through a specially taxing series of gauntlets, managed to rescue his Aunt May, and finally earned himself some rest.  And what do we see going in the mail as this happens?  A letter, from Norman Osborn to Peter Parker, thanking him for providing challenge, structure, and purpose for his otherwise boring and humdrum life.  He wishes him all the best, and hopes for a speedy recovery so they can eventually meet again.

If that's not obsession...

Peter may not love Norman Osborn, but he has in his way obsessed over him just as much as Norman has obsessed over Peter.  You can't dispute that he's an enormously important figure in Peter's life, and as time and writing have shown, he'll never leave him the way Gwen did--never mind the technicalities of him killing her, which I would argue is yet another result of his obsession with Spidey.  They give each other meaning and purpose, and definitely strive to be at their best when they get together.

I'm not saying it's a perfect love, and I'm not saying it isn't more than a little twisted, but it is for the reasons above that I believe Norman Osborn, more than Gwen and MJ, is the number one love of Peter Parker's life.

This article is, in case anyone freaks out, intended as a joke.  I don't really think Norman is Peter's greatest love, though this did arise from a sense of discontent from the ComicVine articles.  Comparing Gwen an MJ is really not fair, so I figured another unfair comparison was, ironically, fair game.

GN Review -- Good As Lily / Derek Kirk Kim and Jesse Hamm

Many adults remember questioning their place in the world as teenagers, and many teenagers have more than a few questions about identity and where they'll end up as adults.  What are the important things in life?  Who am I, and who will I become?  What am I supposed to do with my life?  Often, the answer may present itself by thinking about the kind of person we are and have been, as well as imagining--or in the case of Good As Lily, seeing--what the future might hold for you.

Grace Kwon is a bright, charismatic young woman who's just turned 18. She's been accepted into Stanford, and has a group of friends that adore her and whom she adores.  She seems to have it all, but being on the precipice of college life and adulthood poses a lot of uncertainties for her.  She has a crush on her young drama teacher, which the students all seem to know about, is apprehensive about what direction to take with all her talent and determination, and has a number of issues with the various people in her life.

Things take a turn for the fantastic when she, upon retrieving a t-shirt her friend Jeremy's had gifted to her back at the park where they celebrated, encounters three strange versions of herself at different ages: age 6, 29, and 70.  Freaked out by what they represent on several levels, Grace hides her various selves in her room and tries hard to wish them away.  They interact with her at several points, affecting her life and relationships with others in various ways for the better, worse, and at times just plain chaotic.  As she gradually resolves various issues with her family and her own perceptions of her self-worth, they gradually disappear, their insights and help having taught her a few things about life and giving her a better sense of direction as she realizes what's important to her.

This is an uplifting and well written story about making choices in life and living with the consequences, whatever they might be.  Grace, a charming and likeable young Korean woman who seems to have everything going for her, is not without her own issues, insecurities, and personal nemeses, be they an inferiority complex about being made fun of as a child, the feeling of being forever second to a dead sister in the eyes of her parents, an unrequited and idealized crush on a man she can never have, or the inability to see her friend Jeremy's long-standing attraction for her.  Her various selves represent choices made about those issues, as well as the baggage she has as she considers her own future.

Her youngest self represents her at her most awkward.  She is a greedy little eater, and fat, and was made fun of by her classmates, some of whom still choose to bully her in high school.  Her adult self is self-absorbed and shallow, and tries to use her good looks and charm to seduce the man she couldn't have as a teenage student.  Her elderly self is a bitter woman who lived a life of solitude, and now has nothing but cigarettes and liquor to look forward to as a result.  Realizing how blind she had been in her younger years to the attentions of others helps the main character to overcome that obstacle, perhaps changing her own future.

The characters are memorable, and play majorly into how these issues are resolved, making for amusing, dramatic, and often poignant situations.  Little Grace's resolution causes a bake sale to go awry in the worst possible way, but Teen Grace's talk with her family about Lily sets both of their issues at ease in a heartwarming way.  Elder Grace at one point attempts to commit suicide, but is saved by a frantic and eloquent Jeremy, who helps her to realize both how blind she'd been to him and that life's little miracles make it worth continuing.

I enjoyed Hamm's artwork, which didn't really focus on presenting detail as much as conveying expression and mood.  It makes for a style that is simple, well rendered, and which serves the story extremely well.  Hamm fills the conveyance of a gesture or a simple facial expression or twitch with meaning, and keeps you reading for the visuals every bit as much as for the enjoyable and well-told story.

My one fair-sized issue with this tale is the title, which revolves around a sister of Grace's who died at age 8, suddenly from meningitis.  The issues with Lily, while perhaps large, are given little direct attention, which is some cause for confusion.  There's just enough given so that you know that it's an issue, but a more in-depth exploration of that plot thread might have enhanced the work.

Overall, I find this to be a very good story, and a definite must-read for anyone who's ever had questions about identity, what's important in life, and who they want to become.  Grace and her various selves make the journey both highly entertaining and more than a little educational.  The artwork is expressive and well-done, and the supporting cast help make the story memorable.  Highly recommended.